


Even the best-laid plans

by syncopate (orphan_account)



Category: SHINee
Genre: Humor, M/M, bff!jongyu, if you know that writer you'll know why the format is like this haha, let me know if it worked, one-sided!jongtae, past!minkey, well i tried humor anyway, while writing this i was reading a lot of jaclyn moriarty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/syncopate
Summary: In which Jonghyun has a helpless hopeless crush on Taemin, who is starting a relationship with Minho, who used to date Kibum, who is cousin to Jonghyun's best friend, Jinki. And everything is made more complicated by Kibum and his plans.Really he should just always listen to Jinki.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for the colorful world fic fest!   
> edited and added stuff

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 3 Thursday_

 

  * __Sat in canteen but ignored food in favour of staring longingly at Lee Taemin (LTM), current object of romantic despair__


  * _Sighed over LTM approximately 15 times_


  * _Frowned as Choi Minho (CMH), basketball captain, came up to speak to LTM_


  * _Let out a heavy sigh when the two commence flirting_


  * _[Researcher's expert knowledge defines this as flirting]_


  * _Let out three more heavy sighs and sucked up Pepsi through straw too quickly_


  * _Began coughing dramatically_


  * _[It is researcher's opinion that Coca Cola would have been a better option]_


  * _Looked over at best friend for sympathy_


  * _Observed said best friend scribbling into navy blue, thick, ring-bound notebook for no apparent reason_


  * _Peered over best friend's shoulder to look at notebook contents_


  * _Scowled_


  * _Grabbed edge of notebook cover and tugg-_



 ~-~

"You're- just, you... this is...you're incredible," Jonghyun says, as he flips through Jinki's notebook, filled with detailed observations of Jonghyun's rather dramatic and also rather pathetic tumble into crush with one Lee Taemin; dancer extraordinaire, cutest smile, charmingly oblivious owner of Kim Jonghyun's heart.

"Thank you," Jinki says, preening a little.

"It wasn't a compliment," Jonghyun snaps. "How long have you been _doing this?"_

Jinki shrugs, completely unconcerned. "From around the time you called me and whisper-screamed about a really pretty boy you saw dancing in one of the practice rooms?"

"That was _eight months ago."_

"See, you're whisper-screaming again, how do you do that?"

Jonghyun pushes his glasses up with his middle finger, making sure said finger was angled in Jinki's direction. "This is a gross invasion of privacy."

"Hardly," Jinki remarks, lacing his fingers together and balancing his chin on them. "What kind of invasion includes the invasive creature being informed of every detail right after it happens? Like when you realized he was in the same calculus class as you last term and had to text me immediately. Or that time you worked together for one maths problem set. Or that one time he said hello, and you nearly walked into a door. Or when _you_ said hello and he smiled and then you ran away. Or when he congratulated you for being voted council president and you just squeaked in response. He still smiles at you, you know. Although it's got a lot of  'I'm not sure if I really know this person' confusion on its edges."

"I _know,"_ Jonghyun says. "I _know,_ I just don't know what to do." He knows he sounds like a clueless child, and he's glad when Jinki chooses not to mention it.

"You _could_ just go up to him and ask him out." Jinki offers up the suggestion like it isn't the 70th time he's said it.

The idea of going up to Lee Taemin and asking him out and expecting a 'yes' in reply sounds like too much of a flight of fancy. Small, studious, rather boring Kim Jonghyun asking out one of the most high profile, well-liked people in the school. "No, I couldn't," Jonghyun sighs, averting his gaze from Jinki's rolling eyes. He lets his focus flit back to Taemin, now hitting a curled fist lightly against Minho's chest. Some things, Jonghyun thinks mournfully, probably should stay dreams.

He doesn't notice Jinki stealing his notebook back.

~~

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 3 Thursday (cont'd)_

  * __Ignored best friend's very valuable and sensible advice to just ask LTM out__


  * _Pouted at CMH and LTM's very obvious flirting_


  * _[Researcher opines that it shouldn't be long until they become school's couple of year]_


  * _Sighed about three times more_


  * _Ate two bites of meal and then spent rest of lunch period waxing lyrical about LTM's "gracefulness and fluid movements"_


  * _[Researcher considers this a shameful waste of food]_


  * _Did not seem to notice best friend scribbling rapidly throughout conversation_


  * _More likely did notice and chose to ignore it_


  * _[Researcher thinks something must be done]_



~~

"So you're the one crushing on the boy dating my ex?" The voice breaking into Jonghyun's thoughts is drawling and amused, and when Jonghyun looks up to find the source, he can't help but suck in a breath of air.

The person speaking is a striking; sharp edges and magnetic eyes. The corner of his mouth is arched up into a lazy half smile, and one hand is placed on his cocked hips. He's not dressed in a school uniform, instead in some careful arrangement of brightly patterned material that Jonghyun figures must be fashionable somewhere. He looks like a peacock, Jonghyun decides.

"Well?" Peacock stranger prompts, when instead of replying, Jonghyun just stares blankly at him.

"Uh...?" Jonghyun feels like he's lost some vital piece of information, been left out of context. He thinks maybe he's accidentally fallen into a dream.

Peacock stranger huffs out a breath when minutes tick by without coherent response, and Jonghyun swears he stamps his foot a bit before he spins to exit the room, nearly crashing into Jinki. Jinki's humming comes to a stop and he reaches up to grab the stranger's elbows to steady him.

"Oh hey, Kibum!" Jinki grins like it's regular everyday activity that a random stranger barges into the council room and makes assumptions about Jonghyun and his crushes.

"Your friend doesn't talk," Kibum announces to Jinki without preamble.

Jinki blinks, then laughs. "He usually talks too much actually, I think he might just be blown away by your beauty." It's gentle teasing, as if he knows this Kibum very well.

Kibum makes a face and hits Jinki softly on the shoulder, and Jonghyun sniffs audibly. "Taemin is prettier," he declares.

Kibum whirls around to stare curiously at him. "Oh you _do_ talk!" he exclaims, as if it's a revelation, as if it's a surprise.

When Jonghyun glares at him, Kibum just laughs.

~~

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 4 Tuesday_

_Catalyst was introduced (under duress) in the form of one Kim Kibum [KKB]_

  

  * __Spent almost 15 minutes scowling at KKB__


  * _Most likely because KKB initially assumed subject wasn't able to talk_


  * _Also likely because KKB didn't react to carefully worded snubs_


  * _Expressed surprise that KKB is cousin of best friend who is paragon of a human being_


  * _Read previous sentence over best friend's shoulder and snorted disbelievingly_


  * _[Researcher maintains that everything recorded here is truth]_


  * _Snarled then scoffed when KKB presented his break up LTM and CMH plan_


  * _Questioned why he should work with KKB when KKB was "probably annoying and domineering and a pain"_


  * _Left dumbstruck when KKB casually agreed with description but pointed out that there had been no disagreement on the plan only the partner_


  * _Was silent for almost two minutes before slowly agreeing_


  * _[Researcher is not party in this plan and is merely observing]_


  * _Reluctantly shared contact number with KKB_


  * _Sighed dramatically when KKB finally left_


  * _Questioned himself loudly about choices in life_


  * _Beseeched heavens to reconsider his existence_


  * _Asked best friend why he was grinning_


  * _Threw eraser at best friend_


  * _Threatened to pour water over notebook_


  * _[Researcher opines that subject is a brat]_



 

~~

 

From: Unknown

meet me at dongdaemun on saturday at 11am

 

From: Unknown

phase one of the plan

 

From: Unknown

this is key by the way

 

From: Unknown

kibum, I mean

 

From: Unknown

jinkis cousin

 

To: Jinki's annoying cousin

That's fine. I guess…But why couldn't you send everything in one message?

 

From: Jinki's annoying cousin

wow you blow me away with your enthusiasm

 

From: Jinki's annoying cousin

that was sarcasm by the way

 

From: Jinki's annoying cousin

i like texting like this

 

From: Jinki's annoying cousin

and now that I know you dont

 

From: Jinki's annoying cousin

im gonna to do it more

 

~-~

 

To: Kibum

Care 2 explain y Jonghyun just called saying u r the most aggravating person 2 walk this earth?

 

From: Kibum

i have no idea

 

From: Kibum

im a delightful person

 

From: Kibum

you would know this

 

To Kibum:

Gd you hv such healthy self-esteem.

 

From: Kibum

i know you meant it sarcastically but im taking it as a compliment

 

From: Kibum

thank you for your kind words, cousin

 

~-~

 

Apparently, Kibum's plan involves "updating Jonghyun's look", which means swapping out his glasses for contact lenses, investing in hair and makeup products, purchasing outfits made of materials that resemble leather and in fits that cut too close to his figure for comfort.

"Do you get your ideas from chick flicks?" Jonghyun asks, after Kibum drags him into the fourth store in two hours.

"What does it matter, even if I did?"

Kibum is nonchalant, dismissive and completely unconcerned about any objections Jonghyun puts out. Kibum is domineering, refuses to take no for an answer and doesn't seem able to get affected by any snide comments Jonghyun makes.

Except one.

"If you seriously think this will work, why didn't you try it yourself on Minho?"

Kibum freezes, and his fingers clench into the material of a shirt he's holding. Too much mesh, Jonghyun observes absent mindedly. But he's more focused on the way the smooth edges of Kibum's easy smile have broken. Just a little bit. Like maybe he's human under that flashy exterior. Like maybe he has a heart. Instead of the complex stainless steel mechanism Jonghyun has decided exists in Kibum's chest.

"I did," Kibum says, his eyes are directed away from Jonghyun, and his voice is soft. "He smiled, kindly. Because he's very kind. And he told me...he told me 'it's alright to stop pretending, Key, you don't really want me.'"

When he looks back at Jonghyun, his gaze is hard with intent. "But of course I do, we were a great couple. So I need your help, and if you get that other boy in the meantime, all's good for everyone, right?"

Jonghyun nods, but can't ignore a quiet feeling that maybe it's all a little bit wrong.

 

~-~

 

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 6 Monday_  

  * __Arrived at school with hair teased, eyeliner-ed eyes and contacts instead of glasses__


  * _As well as a miserably uncomfortable expression_


  * _[Researcher recognized this as KKB's work]_


  * _Flinched when girls went up to him and complimented him_


  * _Smiled awkwardly when boys did_


  * _Smile turned hopeful when LTM and CMH came near_


  * _But said couple were too engrossed with each other to pay too much attention_


  * _[Researcher noted that CMH did give a friendly wave]_


  * _Glumly attended classes, blind and deaf to curious eyes and whispering_


  * _Frogmarched best friend into council room at lunch break_


  * _Roughly took out contacts and replaced it with glasses, letting out sigh in process_


  * _Spent entire time complaining about KKB_


  * _Did not allow best friend much space or time to relax and enjoy his sandwich_


  * _[Refer to excerpts of conversation in Appendix A]_



  

**_Appendix A_ **

_KJH: (in hysterical tone) Why did he even think this would work? Gel in the hair! Eyeliner! Contact lenses! Tighter pants! Which world is he living in?_

_KJH: (still hysterical) Did I tell you he didn't even listen to any of my suggestions? He just chose everything for me, like my opinions don't matter! He made me pierce my ears!_

_KJH: Isn't your cousin an art student, surely he's more creative than this?_

_LJK: (calm and cool) He's actually top in his class. The same could be said about you. Aren't you into writing and composing, surely you could come up with something on your own?_

_KJH: Top in his class..? Really?_

_KJH: And aren't you supposed to be on my side?_

_LJK: (still calm still cool) I am on the side of truth_

_KJH: Why are you writing...are you honestly writing all this down right now?_

_LJK: Yes._

_KJH: Why do I bother talking to you._

 

_KJH: (hesitantly) Hey...why does he want to get back with Minho so badly anyway?_

_LJK: You'll have to ask him that yourself._

_KJH: He got weird when I mentioned Minho. All vulnerable and afraid. More...human._

_KJH: What's the story between them?_

_LJK: Why do you want to know?_

_KJH: No particular reason._

 

_KJH: Stop looking at me like you're thinking too much. I'm just. Curious._

_LJK: If you say so._

 

~-~

 

Jonghyun pulls Jinki to council room again after school, on the pretext of discussing welfare gifts during exam time. What he really wants is to find out about Kibum and Minho's history, just so they'll be on equal footing, not one where _Kibum_ knows about his hopeless, helpless crush and all _Jonghyun_ knows is Kibum used to date Minho. At least that's what he tells himself, he doesn't like to think about the way Kibum's smile had shattered a little, and the desperation in his eyes. He doesn't like to think about the spike of pity.

"Why did I sign up for this job?" Jinki mutters, as he runs through the list of suppliers they've contacted.

"Because everyone wanted you to be president and you conned everyone into nominating me by promising you'll take vice."

"That was a rhetorical question."

That Jinki is his best friend is one of the mysteries of the school, they don't know of the bonds that had formed during early childhood and somehow had never shredded. They make a strange pairing; one soft and timid, the other sociable and confident. One the overlooked wallflower and the other, while not the most popular exactly, generally well-liked in the school. Well enough to constantly have people wanting to be around him, to have people fighting for his attention. But Jinki doesn't seem to care all that much, prefers being with Jonghyun over all his admirers, and it's comforting, to have that kind of surety.

"What happened between Minho and Kibum?" Jonghyun asks again, carefully, as soon as they've confirmed what they need, and are packing up the documents.

"Why don't you ask me yourself?" Kibum's voice breaks into Jinki's sigh. When they turn, he's standing at the door, sardonic smile on his lips. "Why so curious, council president?" His voice is mocking, just on the edge of cruel. And Jonghyun feels like a fool.

"You can't just keep coming in here," Jinki interrupts, disrupting the tension that has spread feelers over the room. "This isn't even your school."

Kibum glances at him and makes a small dismissive gesture. He lifts his broad shoulders in a slow shrug and lowers himself into a chair just adjacent from the one Jonghyun is occupying. He leans his elbows on the table and cups his face in his hands and draws near to Jonghyun, as close as he can go without them touching. "Why so curious, council president?" Kibum asks again, not harshly this time, but soft, low, questioning. And something lodges in Jonghyun's throat, like anxiety.

From behind them, Jonghyun can hear Jinki swallow back a laugh, but there's something captivating about Kibum being so close, so close that if Jonghyun reaches over he could run fingers over his eyelashes. "You looked so... _human_ when I mentioned him," Jonghyun says finally, and he knows it's insufficient, that it makes too little sense.

But Kibum laughs like he understands. " _He_ used to tell me I hide too many emotions," he says, "that I can't possibly be that untouchable all the time."

Jonghyun nods because _that_ he understands, about keeping emotions hidden away and secret, and Kibum smiles at him, tentative, unsure, _human_.

They really talk that day, not about Taemin, not about Minho. Not about love or relationships. Or plans to break people up. Just about each other; Jonghyun and Kibum. And when something he says pulls a laugh from Kibum, obnoxious and loud, Jonghyun thinks maybe there's something creeping between them that resembles friendship. Just a bit.

~-~

From: Kibum

since you failed phase 1 so tragically

 

From: Kibum

phase 2 is dance

 

From: Kibum

meet me at this dance studio on sunday

_ <location attached> _

 

To: Kibum

I can't dance

 

From: Kibum

never say never

 

~-~

 

To: BFF 4EVA

Why is your cousin asking me to /dance/?

Also when did you change your contact name in my phone?

 

From: BFF 4EVA

Y didn't you ask him that yourself? Taemin is a dancer, might help.

Do not change that contact name.

 

To: Jinki is an ass

He's hard to argue with!!

It's not going to help.

And I already did.

 

From: Jinki is an ass

Never say never

I m not an ass I m a genius

 

To: Jinki is an ass

That's the same thing he said...

 

To: Jinki is an ass

How did you know what  I changed your contact name to?

 

From: Jinki is not a genius

U r kind of predictable

 

~-~

 

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Sunday before Term 2 Week 8_

 

  * __Dragged best friend to meeting with KKB to learn dance, ignoring best friend's objections citing multiple papers to write__


  * _Complained every step of the way_


  * _Snorted when best friend enquired why he didn't just inform KKB that he didn't think this plan would work_


  * _"Do you even know him? He's a terror. He won't listen. I'm doomed."_


  * _[Researcher noted a small smile while above was being said]_



_~-~_

Kibum is late. Or well, Jonghyun is early. It's 1:55pm and Kibum said two and Jonghyun thinks maybe he's slightly anxious, incredibly panicky, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Dance is more of a spectator sport to him, something beautiful to admire; lithe limbs and fluid motion, like watching music in action, harmony come alive. He could, perhaps, dance passably with enough instruction and practice, with enough drilling and coaching, but probably not enough to impress Taemin.

Impress Taemin, that's the plan, isn't it? Impress Taemin to the point that he leaves Minho for Jonghyun and Kibum comes in to mend the hurt.

And Kibum is persuasive and manipulative, and it sounded almost plausible when he proposed it. As if just his confidence alone would be a magic spell. Or maybe Jonghyun was just desperate, looking for a chance, and Kibum had come with one.

He looks around at the dance studio and the walls of full length mirrors and he asks himself if he really likes Taemin that much, if it really needs that much work. If _he_ does.

"Alternatively, you could just ask Taemin to teach you," Jinki suggests. "It's one way to get close to him."

The thought terrifies Jonghyun, even more than the idea of facing Kibum's definite mockery at his attempts at dance. He wants to approach Taemin perfect, or as close to perfect as he can muster. He doesn't want Taemin to see him undone and embarrassed, imperfect, broken.

"You just don't want to let him see you _human,"_ Jinki said once. Sometimes Jonghyun thinks he might be right.

~-~

 

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Sunday before Term 2 Week 8 (cont'd)_

  * __Did not do very well in this lesson__


  * _Missed steps and tripped over own feet initially_


  * _Got the rhythm eventually but very stiff_


  * _Got laughed at by KKB half the session_


  * _And yelled at for the other half_


  * _Yelled back at KKB_


  * _Both yelled at best friend for inexplicable unfair reasons_


  * _[Researcher felt a transcript would be best, refer to Appendix B]_



  

**_Appendix B_ **

_KJH: Kibum is an awful teacher, write that down, Jinki._

_KKB:_ **_Jonghyun_ ** _is an awful_ **_student_ ** _, write_ **_that_ ** _down._

 _KJH: He's_ **_my_ ** _best friend, you can't order him around._

 _KKB: He's_ **_my_ ** _cousin._

_LJK: Right now I don't want to be related to either of you._

_KJH + KKB (in unison): FINE_

 

_LJK: Aren't you supposed to be teaching him?_

_KKB: (cackles) How? He's terrible!_

_KJH: (mumbles inaudibly)_

_KJH: (in a higher pitch)_ **_Why_ ** _did i listen to you, this would never work!_

 

_KKB: Are you? Crying?_

_KJH: (sniffles) No._

_KKB: You're_ **_actually crying._ **

_KJH:_ **_No_ ** _, I'm_ **_not_ ** _._

 

_KKB: (awkwardly reaches over to pat KJH's shoulder) Okay, you're not terrible. You just need more time than we have. Like years. Of intense practices. I'll think of something else._

_KJH: (in watery tone) I'm starting to worry about everything you think of._

_KKB: They're all great ideas, I'll have you know._

 

_KKB: Hey... you're still wearing those earrings we bought that time._

_KJH: ...you mean the ones you forced on me?_

_KKB: I thought you would have taken them out by now to let the holes close._

_KJH: I thought of that...but they're kind of pretty…_

 

_KJH: Really against school rules though._

_~-~_

Kibum is pretty, Jonghyun thinks, as he watches Kibum laugh at something his cousin says. The rest of the dance session has turned into something loose and unstructured; Kibum demonstrating and then Jinki purposefully massacring it. Jonghyun is content to watch.

There's something sweet between the cousins, he thinks. Probably born from years of proximity. But it's always nice, to see Jinki relaxed and happy. It's also strangely nice, to watch Kibum fall over laughing at Jinki's antics. Very different from the first impression, only two weeks ago. They could be friends, he thinks. Underneath Kibum's abrasion is a nice enough person. Also, talented as heck, if Jinki was speaking the truth about top in class, and based off this short dance display.

He would be interesting to be friends with, Jonghyun decides.

"You know, you guys should just get together," Jinki announces, from where he's spread out on the floor. "That would solve everything."

There's a pause before Kibum lets out an ungraceful shout of laughter. "He's completely not my type, too short, too soft. Have you not been paying attention to me, cousin?"

He glances at Jonghyun from out of the corner of his eye. "No offense meant."

"None taken," Jonghyun says easily. "You're far too prickly and annoying for me anyway."

Kibum throws an empty plastic bottle at Jonghyun, and Jinki laughs.

 

_~-~_

 

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

  _Term 2 Week 8 Tuesday_

 

  * __Seemed slightly more miserable today__


  * _Likely due to gossiping classmates talking about spotting LTM and CMH kissing in park over previous weekend_


  * _Wasn't able to cheer up even when best friend offered a treat to barbeque_


  * _Informed best friend morosely that meat was no cure to a broken heart_


  * _Scoffed when best friend reminded him that KKB still has plans_


  * _Intoned very seriously that "world is tragic and unfair"_


  * _[Researcher is of the opinion subject is rather overdramatic]_


  * _Read previous line over best friend's shoulder_


  * _Expressed disappointment that best friend would even think such thoughts about him_


  * _Got distracted from berating best friend when CMH entered classroom and enquired if there were any last minute sign ups to recreational basketball_


  * _Turned to best friend with excited light in his eyes_



 

_~-~_

 

_To: Kibum_

_Jonghyun says the next plan shld be learning 2 play sports_

 

_From: Kibum_

_i know_

 

_From: Kibum_

_he texted me_

 

_From: Kibum_

_i dont play sports so this is all on you_

 

_From: Kibum_

_but i wanna be there to watch this failure_

 

_To: Kibum_

_I can't even be offended by that._

 

_~-~_

 

"If I learn to play sports," Jonghyun explains slowly to Jinki, as they walk to the bus stop after school together, "I can compete against Minho on his level!"

"Minho is the _basketball captain,"_ Jinki says, just as slowly. Jonghyun thinks maybe he should be insulted that Jinki doesn't seem to buy in to his idea. "I think you've officially tipped over into delusional realm."

"Taemin obviously likes sporty people," Jonghyun says. "I become a sporty person, I can attract his attention!"

Maybe it's all too simplistic, too optimistic. Or maybe he'll discover a sports person in him, an inner jock that will give him confidence to approach Taemin. Even if rejection _is_ what is in the cards.

 

~-~

Jinki gets his friend Minjung to help them. Captain of the _female_ basketball team in a neighbouring school, he had met her in a part-time job at an ice-cream shop. He tells her enough to give her context but not enough that Jonghyun would be uncomfortable. Jonghyun thinks maybe he should be insulted that Jinki has asked a girl. Maybe Kibum thinks so too, based off his delighted laughter. Or maybe he just thinks the entire scenario in general is amusing.

"Stop laughing," Jonghyun hisses. "This might help you too."

Kibum quiets down, but little giggles still escape his lips, and Jonghyun _knows_ it's not just Jinki, Kibum doesn't put much weight on this idea either. He wonders if he should resent them for being so pessimistic, or salute them for having the honesty to be upfront with their doubts.

"Okay okay," Kibum says after a beat, through laughter. "I'll be open-minded about it. Who knows? Maybe you won't be too much of a trainwreck."

"I appreciate your optimism," Jonghyun says dryly. Kibum looks right at him, raises a single scarred eyebrow, and lets a smirk curl over his lips, and Jonghyun wonders why there's a warmth of heat that creeps up the back of his neck.

~-~

 

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Saturday before Term 2 Week 9_

  

  * __[Researcher takes the opportunity to state that he was coerced into this]__


  * _Did not suck at basketball_


  * _Was actually pretty average, according to Choi Minjung (CMJ)_


  * _Nowhere near superstar level but would definitely not be a liability to a team_


  * _Sulked because did not want to just be average, wanted to be magnificent_


  * _Was informed by CMJ he needed much more training on regular basis to become magnificent_


  * _Was told should have started years ago_


  * _Sighed tiredly_


  * _Laughed when CMJ tentatively suggested "just be yourself"_


  * _Laughed more when she stared at him seriously_


  * _Laughed until CMJ looked around for an escape route, obviously uncomfortable_


  * _Stopped laughing only when KKB lightly smacked his shoulder_


  * _Went back to sighing_



 

  _~-~_

 

"I should treat her to a meal for this, probably," Jinki mutters to himself as they leave the court. He looks at Minjung effusively waving and his mouth curves into a tiny, affectionate smile.

"She likes you too, you know," Kibum says bluntly. And Jonghyun is amazed when Jinki's cheeks go pink.

"I thought so but wasn't sure," Jinki admits, he looks back again to Minjung shooting some hoops on her own. "It's weird though, since she's close friends with my ex."

KIbum snorts. "That relationship ended a year ago, and he's already moved on, he can't begrudge you that." He pushes at Jinki's shoulders. "Go ask her out now, I'll deal with your overemotional best friend."

"Now?" Jinki squeaks, but Kibum has already grabbed Jonghyun's wrist and is dragging him away.

"Yes, now!" Kibum yells over his shoulder. "Or you'll never do it."

Jonghyun watches the proceedings mutely, walking only because of Kibum's tugging.

"You both are just as ridiculous with love," Kibum says conversationally when they're a significant distance away from the basketball court. "But I'd consider Jinki more competent than you."

"Thanks for your input," Jonghyun replies. But there's guilt thrumming in his veins he can't ignore.

"I didn't know Jinki liked someone," he confesses finally. "I'm a bad friend, all my talk about my feelings for Taemin and I never bothered asking about him."

Kibum shrugs. "His is easy, yours is...not. He didn't mind."

"Come on," Kibum continues when Jonghyun can't swallow around his guilt to reply, "I know a nice cafe nearby, I'll treat you to cake."

~-~

The cakes are far too sweet for Jonghyun, but somehow the way Kibum grins happily at them when they arrive makes that okay.

Kibum likes tiny cakes with pretty decoration and likes taking pictures to put on Instagram before eating. He forces Jonghyun to eat cream then laughs when Jonghyun makes a face. Kibum's laugh is boisterous and unaffected. Almost ugly, and still somewhat beautiful. Kibum likes to talk, has plenty of opinions and never seems to need to catch a breath, but he also likes to listen.

And he listens as Jonghyun ends up talking.

They have more fun than he thinks they would, and they don't mention Minho or Taemin more than once.

~-~

 

To: BFF 4EVA

So...did you get a date?

And when did you change your name in my phone

Again?

 

From: BFF 4EVA

U rly need 2 stop leaving your phone unlocked in the council rm

And yes I did ^^

 

To: BFF 4EVA

Great!

I'm sorry I never asked

 

From: BFF 4EVA

U wldn't hv known~

 

~-~

 

From Kibum:

you should write him a song!

 

From: Kibum

didnt you say you like music and composing

 

From: Kibum

i cant believe i didnt think of this earlier

 

From: Kibum

but then i never knew about your musician tendencies until recently

 

From: Kibum

maybe 'be yourself' will work

 

From: Kibum

music is sexy anyway

 

From: Kibum

write a song and i will critique!

 

To: Kibum

Seriously, WHY can't you just send everything in one message.

And what makes you think you will be a viable critic?

 

From: Kibum

im a viable everything

 

From: Kibum

except bad things

 

From: Kibum

im a viable everything that is good

 

~-~

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 10 Thursday_

 

  * __Been rather distracted for the past few days__


  * _Kept checking phone during breaks and grinning at it before typing something back_


  * _Avoided best friend's queries as to why_


  * _Squeaked when best friend stole phone and discovered conversation with KKB_


  * _Offered "Your cousin is funny." as answer to unasked question_


  * _Apparently been texting regularly since after the day best friend asked out CMJ_


  * _Continued explaining despite best friend not judging or offering any opinions_


  * _Smile only faded when walked past LTM and CMH in between classes_


  * _Sighed and muttered "I hate crushes."_



_~-~_

"So have you started composing yet?" The voice is familiar now, less grating than he used to find it.

"Kibum, really," Jinki says, faux annoyance in his tone. "Do you have nothing to do but visit some other school's council room?"

"I'm bored," Kibum says. "I'm ahead of everyone in my assignments so I'm free enough to come here and check on Jonghyun's progress."

"There's not much progress," Jonghyun says, looking up. Really, the smile that is threatening to break out over his face is a strange thing. "If you can come help with packing these welfare packs for final exams, that would help though."

Swinging himself onto a desk just across from them both, Kibum reaches out his hands. "Oh why not? I'm magnanimous enough."

Jinki rolls his eyes. "Hardly something I'd consider magnanimous, but whatever gets you to help."

Jonghyun just smiles. For a reason he doesn't entirely understand, he likes seeing the cousins bicker.

"Hey Jinki, shouldn't you be friends with Taemin?" Kibum asks.

Jinki squints at the sudden question. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Don't all popular people just kind of...stick together? That's what happens in _my_ school."

"I hang out with Jonghyun the most...I think I'm pretty obviously going against that assumption."

"Excuse me!"

"Jjong, you're not popular. It's a fact, not an insult, just breathe." Kibum darts a gaze at him and for no reason at all Jonghyun's heart jumps to his throat.

"You just called him Jjong." It's not a question but Jinki is looking at them both with a quizzical smile.

"It's easier to say than Jonghyun," Kibum says flippantly, waving his hand airily and Jinki stares shrewdly at him for an instant but lets the subject drop. Not without also glancing quickly at Jonghyun.

"Since we're asking questions," Jonghyun starts, "why are you so determined to get Minho back?"

"We're good together," Kibum insists. And there's a stubborn set to his jaw as he says the words.

"What's so good about him?" There's an aggression and anger in his tone he doesn't recognize, and he wonders if maybe his crush on Taemin has come with a resentment towards Minho.

"He's tall and hot, handsome and really kind," Kibum says. "Only a fool would let him get away, I'm not a fool. Plus, we complement each other; talented beautiful artsy student with hot athletic guy."

Jonghyun thinks he might hate Minho, and says so.

Kibum tells him that he probably isn't the only one.

Jonghyun also notices none of Kibum's reasons include _because I like him_ but that he doesn't bring up.

~-~

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 10 Thursday (cont'd)_

 

  * __[It occurs to researcher that subject is not a very self-aware person]__


  * _Subject looked over at previous sentence and demanded explanation from best friend_


  * _Sulked when best friend refused to elaborate_



_~-~_

Writing comes easy to Jonghyun sometimes, melody and harmony, the right notes in the right places, the best words to express an emotion. But this song isn't easy. He thinks maybe it's easy only to write about things that don't tear at your own chest, easier to imagine pain that doesn't belong to you. It's difficult to invert yourself, strip down to your skin and bone, present your heart as an offering. For that is what the song has to be, a dissection of his heart, an unravelling of his soul, his feelings as libations.

He thinks about the way Taemin likes to wear sweaters that swamp his figure, about the way he dances like he's moving on air, the way he hides behind the shoulders of a nearby friend when he's embarrassed. He thinks about wanting to find out the kind of person he is, behind the dancer, behind the popular boy, about wanting to find out what makes him laugh, what makes him cry, what interests him, what kind of person is his favourite. Probably Minho, Jonghyun thinks. And laughs bitterly.

Inspiration has a strange way of latching on to wandering thoughts and turning them into art. And Jonghyun finds himself thinking of a personality louder than fireworks and as colorful as splatters of paint on a blank canvas. And he doesn't quite know if it reflects Taemin or his own heart, but he catches at the lines and imagery and lets himself drift away.

~-~

 

To: Kibum

So I wrote a song

 

From: Kibum

!! let me listen

 

To: Kibum

I'm really not sure if it's even appropriate

 

From: Kibum

i still wanna hear

 

From: Kibum

video call

 

To: Kibum

I don't think-

 

~-~

His phone chimes with a notification of an incoming video call before Jonghyun can finish typing his text.

"I didn't even say okay," he announces the minute he picks up and sees Kibum's face grinning at him from the screen.

"Eh, I figured you would eventually so why wait?" Kibum cranes his neck as if trying to see past Jonghyun's face. "Let me see your room!" he demands.

"Has anyone told you you're domineering as hell?"

"Only all my boyfriends ever," Kibum replies, grinning.

There's a twinge in Jonghyun's chest at the words but he's distracted from analysing it when Kibum repeats his demands to see the room.

"It's so...bare," is Kibum's first comment. Jonghyun's white-walled room doesn't have much more than a wardrobe, a desk and chair and a bed. His guitar and keyboard are perhaps the most attention grabbing parts of the room.

"I don't need that much," Jonghyun says simply. "And isn't minimalism a thing?"

"I don't think you intentionally went for a minimalist look so much as you just didn't bother with anything," Kibum scoffs.

"Show me _your_ room then."

Kibum's room looks like a paint factory exploded in it. Every possible space on the wall filled with drawings and paintings, or posters of celebrities and artists that Jonghyun thinks vaguely that he might know. There are little sculptures against the wall near his bed, but they look distinctly handmade, as if he had dabbled in it before finding ability in a brush.

"Your room is insane," Jonghyun tells Kibum. "But I like your art."

"Thank you," Kibum replies. His grin is a smug one. Jonghyun can't help laughing.

~-~

The song Jonghyun plays for Kibum is tentative and soft, a hesitant love song from someone whose heart is afraid. It tells of suppressed desires and self-hate and that quiet yearning that cannot be erased. The singer is not hopeful but is offering feelings anyway, a gift without a condition, emotion without expectation.

When the last note trails away, silence descends, thick as honey. And it's like for once something has muted Kibum's vocal chords. His face on Jonghyun's screen is far away, like he's thinking of something he still doesn't fully understand.

"'Bum?" Jonghyun prompts when the seconds tick by with no reaction from Kibum. The shortened name is a slip of tongue that thankfully Kibum doesn't comment on.

"I wish someone would sing like that for me!" Kibum blurts. He looks a little like he's had an epiphany. "I really wish someone would," he repeats, tone wondering

"Technically...I just did?"

"You wrote this for Taemin," Kibum says dismissively.

 _But I was thinking about you._ The thought pushes to the top of Jonghyun's brain and steals the air in his lungs and he wonders why he thought it, wonders if it's true.

"You should sing it to him, it's great. Even if he rejects you, but who could reject a serenade? Even if he rejects you, which is dumb, you could perform it at some talent show, does your school have one? Oh yes you do, Jinki took part last year. You should take part! But perform for Taemin first."

When Kibum pauses to breathe, Jonghyun chuckles. "I'm glad your vocal chords still work."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind, do you think it'll work?"

"Yes, I think so," Kibum says. And though his voice sounds a little soft, a little sad, Jonghyun doesn't think to mention it.

Kibum starts giving suggestions on how Jonghyun could improve his decoration of the room and Jonghyun shakes his head. He walks over to his desk, picks his phone up, lies down on his bed and prepares to spend a long night just listening to Kibum talk.

It hasn't been annoying for awhile.

~-~

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 13 Friday_  

 

  * __Highly excitable whole of today__


  * _Might be because last day of school term_


  * _But more likely ready to put 'last-ditch effort plan', as KKB had labelled it, into motion_


  * _[Researcher is of opinion that this should have been first plan, but admits that hindsight has perfect vision.]_


  * _Met KKB in council room after school to receive pep talk_


  * _Initially did not seem to notice KKB was rather lustreless_


  * _But glanced over before leaving, cast worried eyes over KKB_


  * _Glanced away when KKB didn't look over, instead asking cousin directions to an art room he could use_


  * _Sucked in a sharp breath and straightened his shoulders before walking out the door_



  

_~-~_

Jonghyun takes three steps out the door before he stops and realizes he isn't thinking of Taemin, or worrying about how to approach him. He isn't being anxious over rejection or mocking laughter, he isn't thinking of defense maneuvers in case Minho beats him up. And he could, Jonghyun has some lean muscle but he's much shorter than Minho and height is a hugely unfair advantage.

He's thinking about the slight shake in Kibum's voice when he asked Jinki where the art rooms were and how dim his smile had been. He's wondering if Kibum is sick, and how to make him better and why he came if he was sick. He's wondering why it bothers him when Kibum brings up Minho, and if Kibum still wants him back.

The mist over his vision clears and he almost laughs. His song of confession isn't to an ethereal, fairy-like wisp of a boy. It isn't to the dancing phenomenon that steals breath away with the majesty of his movements. It isn't to a bashful boy that giggles with hands covering his mouth. Minho might have written about that boy.

But Jonghyun didn't. Jonghyun's song is to another boy. It's to a boy who laughs not just with his mouth but with his entire body, falling over sometimes, hitting at people close by. It's to a boy with sharp eyes and sharper tongue, a boy who wears clothing that reminds Jonghyun of peacock feathers, who smiles widely even when he's hurting. His song is for Kibum.

As he stands uncertainly in the middle of corridor just outside the council room, guitar in hand and wondering what to do with this revelation, Minho and Taemin approach, hand in hand.

Any other day, this would hurt him, but right at this moment, to his surprise, it means nothing. He expects them to walk past him, without acknowledgement, but Minho stops and pulls Taemin towards Jonghyun.

"You're dating Kim Kibum, aren't you?" That was one question Jonghyun had _not_ expected.

"No?"

Minho's eyebrows crinkle at Jonghyun's answer.

"Oh, I swear I saw him with you at that cafè he always goes to. You looked like a couple."

"We're just friends," Jonghyun explains. "Not together." _Yet_ whispers the voice in his head.

"I used to be with him," Minho says quietly. "But I think he didn't realize he wanted to be with me more because it made sense in the ideal world, rather than because he really wanted me. That's why I broke up with him, but that's also why he wants me back."

"Why are you telling me?"

"Because," Minho says, small grin on his lips. "I think you would want to know."

Taemin laughs too, and Jonghyun wonders if maybe what he really wanted has been obvious for a while. To everyone but himself. "Bye Jonghyun," Taemin says, waving, as the couple walk away.

Jonghyun waves back. At least, he thinks. Taemin knows my name.

 

~-~

**_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's (Lack of) Love Life_ **

_Term 2 Week 13 Friday (cont'd)_

 

  * __Raced to art rooms where KKB and best friend were__


  * _Opened door and stood there silently until KKB looked up from his easel_


  * _[Transcript in Appendix C]_



 

**_Appendix C_ **

_KKB: That was fast, how did Taemin take the song?_

_KJH: If I told you very well, what would you say?_

_KKB: (starts aggressively painting again) I would say congratulations_

_KJH: And would you still want to get Minho for yourself?_

_KKB: Of course I would! That's what this whole circus was for was it not._

_KKB: of_ **_course_ ** _I would._

_KJH: (walks closer) Really?_

_KKB: (brushstrokes become more violent)_ **_Of course._ **

 

_KJH: You look like you're destroying the brushes._

_KKB: (sighs) What are you doing here, Jjong? If it worked then why aren't you with Taemin?_

_KJH: (smiles) Because it didn't work._

_KKB: (questioning tilt of head) What?_

_KJH: I didn't sing it to him, I realized I had already sung it to the person who most needed to hear it._

_KKB: (very very soft) What?_

 

_[Researcher exited room at this point because KKB slowly stood up and stepped closer and KJH pulled him in by the waist and there is a certain kind of intimacy that does not allow recording.]_

 

~-~

 **_Lee Jinki's Observational Record of Kim Jonghyun's_ ** **_(Lack of)_ ** **_Love Life_ **

_Term 3 Week 2 Thursday_

 

  * __Noticed best friend_ ** _still_** _scribbling in notebook and complained loudly to boyfriend__


  * _Pouted when boyfriend only laughed and told him it was amusing_


  * _Grinned when boyfriend reached over and tugged at note-_



 

 _(You don't need this anymore. He's got me now._ _-KKB)_


	2. (outtake)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the confession scene part from Jonghyun's pov. written because it was in my head. so why not.

"What?" Kibum repeats, almost too soft to hear. He's looking at Jonghyun now and there's something luminous in his eyes, something heartbreaking. Jonghyun hears what must be Jinki leaving, the door clicking quietly in the background, but his eyes are pinned to Kibum, to that emotion swirling in his face.

"I like _you,"_ Jonghyun says. "Not Taemin. You."

When Kibum doesn't reply immediately, he adds, "And I'm pretty sure you like me back."

That makes Kibum laugh. "Gotten cocky, have you?"

"Only with you."

Kibum smiles, and stands up slowly from his chair. He reaches out a tentative hand to brush over Jonghyun's jaw and Jonghyun catches him by the waist, pulling him close. Kibum kisses him first, gentle, probing, sweet, sliding his hands through Jonghyun's hair.

When they pull away, there's something misty in Kibum's eyes, but his smile is bright. "I like you too, by the way," he says softly.

Jonghyun thinks his heart must be too full, because in that instant, he cannot breathe or talk. He just leans forward and kisses Kibum again.

Again. Again. Again. Until they're both breathless.


End file.
